How many times did you hear that as a kid? Don’t get me wrong, nothing makes cleaning the kitchen go faster than washing dishes to my favorite tunes cranked up high on our speaker. I came in the house a couple weeks ago and Kallie had California Love playing as she was cleaning the kitchen up from her latest baking spree. I felt pretty proud. I mean, what 11 year old cleans to Tupac? My kid, that’s who. A little Garth Brooks came on after. Clearly, she was on my Pandora play list haha. Anyway, so there’s this app called music.ly, where the kids sing to a song and post it for their approved friends to see. I don’t get it, but I have the voice of Kermit the Frog, so whatever. Kallie was on that thing for over an hour yesterday. Seriously, if I had to hear another rendition of some friggin Ariana Grande song (not THAT one….) I was going to throw the phone in the trash. So, I gently suggested headphones. Friends, remember riding in the car with your parents, discman in hand (hopefully a skip proof one), and your parents yelling at you because they could still hear your music, even though you could barely hear it yourself? Yeah. That was me yesterday. No shame in my game, everyone is getting noise cancelling headphones next Christmas! I don’t know how my parents stood all 3 of us kids on a gazillion hour/day drive to Alaska, our kids barely mad it back alive from a marathon round trip drive to Vegas! 3 electronic devices going at the same time in the back seat was enough to turn more strands of my hair gray.
While thinking about that trip to Alaska we made, I got to really playing that summer over in my head. You guys, my parents deserve a gold freakin medal. I just googled… that’s 3,600 miles one way. Mom lived with the 3 of us in a trailer while my dad stayed at the fishing lodge. Like, bumper pull camp travel trailer, in Happy Valley, Alaska, which is a beautiful location, but also about as Bumfuck, Egypt as it sounds. Don’t get me wrong, it was a nice trailer, but it was still a small space for 4 people, 5 when dad was there. Yeah, we went to school there for a bit, but do you guys know what it does in Alaska during the late spring & summer months? It rains. All the time, every day. I remember spending a lot of time at the library, and I know my mom read probably every Danielle Steel book she could get her hands on that summer. Probably was wondering when some rich guy was going to come rescue her from Alaskan hell. I mean, I’m kidding, she loves my dad more than anything, their marriage is definitely something to admire. I know she followed him there because she loved him that much and didn’t want to spend another summer apart… but DAMN. Think about it…. go buy a camp trailer, lug it 3,600 miles, live in it for 4 months with your 3 kids in a place where it rains all the time, then drive it 3,600 miles home. Let me know how much wine you consume in that time, k? I absolutely look back on that time as my favorite summer as a child. I caught a monster halibut, and my brothers & I would cut open the stomachs of them to see what was in there. Halibut are bottom feeders, so we would frequently find all sorts of stuff, like whole crabs.
That’s me & my fishy. He was delicious! One morning we woke up and the whole beach was covered in jellyfish. Alaska never ceases to throw you something new when you get a little bored. We stayed at the fishing lodge for a bit while they were getting it ready to open for the season, and I remember the chef making our lunches for school. He would stash pieces of candy in the sacks, and to an eight year old, that’s pretty damn cool. Our bus stop almost always had a moose chillin across the street, watching us. I vaguely remember someone daring my older brother to go say hi to him, but since he’s still alive he either said no or managed to not get attacked. Or my brain made that up… or he dared me? Not sure, there’s a lot of possibilities out there. Anyway, I guess the moral of the story is, next time you are dreading a road trip with your spawn, remember… it could definitely be worse, but for your kids, it will likely be something they remember for the rest of their lives.