Punch, roll, flip, repeat.

I was in a serious funk today. Honestly, I don’t know how hubs put up with me. From the moment I opened my eyes, I was unnecessarily bitchy to him. All the poor man wanted was some covers! I just wanted to sleep until 830, but that damn internal alarm clock went off at 6 😦 Panda spent the night at a friends house, so it was my job to get up and feed the farm, and of course, we were out of hay, so I got to go out in the pouring rain to buy a couple bales. Yay. We really need to find someone that will deliver a load, but the guy we get it from is dirt cheap, so it’s hard to give that up! Went & bought hay, carried them in the still pouring rain to the barn, let everyone out, gave everyone their food, and went inside. That sweet husband of mine, that I was SO mean to earlier? He made me breakfast and coffee. And a good breakfast, eggs just the way I like them. Fried, yolk slightly cooked, on top of toast, coffee with just a smidge of creamer. He’s the best. Was I nice to him after that? No, I was crabby because he wasn’t going with me to a birthday party. Chuck E Cheese is like hell, friends. Had a 7-ish year old push me out of the way while I was feeding Sean’s tickets into the counter, and started putting hers in. She lost them, because it’s not my fault she has no manners. I couldn’t wait to get out of there! Got home, couldn’t shake my crappy feeling, so I hid in the apartment and watched the Daytona 500. Not my best plan, considering it was infinitely boring until the end (and I love racing!), Jr was out early, and a Busch brother won. Ugh. Hubs came in, tried to cheer me up, then got mad at me for not telling him what was wrong. How can I tell him when I don’t even know? I was just mad! Pissed off at Chuck E Hell, pissed off at my internal clock, pissed the animals needed feeding, pissed that I had to function. I realized whatever was wrong, I needed to do something productive. I had planned on spaghetti for dinner, which hubs hates. In hopes the meal would be more appetizing, I figured homemade French bread might be the perfect addition. Cleaned the kitchen counters off, and set to work. I like to keep things simple, so I use a 5 ingredient recipe. Yeast, sugar, water, salt, flour. Hard to screw up when you only need 5 things haha! I mixed it all up, left it on the counter to rise, and started making my list of stuff the kids need for baseball, cleaned up the kitchen some more, and went thru the cookbook I have checked out from the library some more. Still feeling anxious and annoyed. Finally, the dough was ready to punch back down. Floured the counter, pulled the dough out of the bow, and set to work. It’s like all of the tension went from my shoulders and brain into my hands, and out of my body in the form of kneading dough. Punch, roll, flip, repeat… over & over again. Probably too much, but whatever. It worked!! Rolled the dough into 2 loaves, set them up to rise again. Motivated me to go deal with the patio, go check on my chickens, clean up the laundry situation, just…everything. I needed to work out that aggression, and I forgot how much I love the process of making bread, how much I just love making things with my own hands. It’s so satisfying to make a staple that we use every single day. My goal this year is to not only get back to making all these things at home again, but to break down the food we are eating, and use healthier options. We have the ability to grow a huge vegetable garden this year, plus enough fruit for us and to share with the animals. So, I made my list. This week, I’m starting with a couple dry mixes, bouillon and a cream of soup base. Basically you mix it up, store in a large jar, and scoop out a cup or whatever when you need it. I’m stoked! The more processed crap we can cut out, the better. Plus, after dividing out the cost, it’s cheaper too! Win! My brain settled down, kids went out with hubs to play catch, I cooked dinner, and we all settled in for the night. I feel a million times better now, and while I still don’t know why I was being a crabby jerk, at least I figured out an outlet, right? Doesn’t get much better than fresh bread out of the oven 😉

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